Bee-vo

Has the time come for UT to change its mascot?

[caption id="attachment_1499" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="Illustration by Jamie Appel"]

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Now that we are all “going green,” we should consider a new mascot for UT. How about Bee-vo, a bee with orange and white stripes?

Unlike Bevo, the Longhorn, who munches on green grasses every day, leaving footprints and emissions wherever he goes, this little guy is very productive and is involved in pollination and propagation while sipping his favorite liquid, which sounds much like the life of a UT freshman.

Bee-vo came to Austin from Beeville, after starting out at UTPBee in far West Texas. He transferred to UT-Austin last year and is hoping to graduate in 2012 with a BeeA degree in Botany. So far at UT, his grades have been all Bees, with a few B pluses. Instead of Plan II, he has initiated a program called Plan Bee.

He buzzes around everywhere: to class, to the Union, to parties, and to various campus committee meetings. He sometimes drives in a beeat –up old VW Beetle. He has a new girlfriend, the “beeautiful Beeatrice,” as he calls her, who is beewitching and beeguiling. He calls her “honey” and he is very sweet on her. He hopes to take her to the beeach soon and hopes to see her in a beekini. He dreams they will be beetrothed some day. It was love at first flight.

He recently had to go to the doctor for a small lump beeneath one of his wings, which fortunately turned out to be beenign. While there, he found out his blood type is Bee Positive. That is how he intends to live his life.

He loves to drink bee-r and eat real Texas Bar-Bee-Que, with plenty of beeans. He prefers bee-f rather than chicken. His favorite desserts are beenana pudding and Blue Beell ice cream.

There might have to be some slight changes if he beecomes mascot. He suggests “The Multi-faceted Eyes of Texas Are Upon You.” “Hook-em” might have to be changed to “Sting-em.” UT will save a lot of money by not having to have the Longhorn Wranglers, the trailer and the expensive food for Bevo. Bees are capable of feeding themselves and can easily fly to out-of-town games at no cost.

His musical tastes run from Beethovan to Bee-Bop to Justin Bee-ber. Since Austin is the Music Capital of the World, he is beeside himself about the many opportunities to hear live music. He attempted to play an electric guitar once, but kept getting zapped. He decided it is better to bee a listener.

Since he risks his life daily avoiding windshields and dive-bombing grackles, he has prepared a will. It instructs his beereaved family to beequeath his tiny heart to
science. It is tiny, but it is pure orange, as is his blood. He would bee honored to serve as the mascot of our great University.